Heads In A Bag

     I've often wondered if a GM can be extorted or intimidated to give me something.  I'm going to assume they cannot, but I'd still like to see what type of reactions I would get if I tried.

 

     The following is an example of how I might go about intimidating said GM.  It will take much planning and preparation.  With that in mind, I'm throwing it behind the cut.  If you're disturbed by decapitating NPCs, you may want to just skip this post entirely.  But I doubt that's the case, since this is WoW we're talking about.  Let me also state before we get going that I'm not crazy.  Not *that* kind of crazy, at least...

 

 

 

     A very common theme I've noticed in WoW is the "Bring me the head of _______" quests.  Everyone wants a bleeding head.  Not a finger or even just the villain's wallet with photo ID. Nope, just bring me the head.  With that in mind, I've decided that I will stuff as many heads into a bag as I can before I attempt to extort reason with any GM.
     First of all, there's a limit.  The vast majority of heads are quest items, so you'll have to actually accept the quest, obtain the head, and then not return the head to the quest giver.  This means you're going to be stuck at the limit of 25 quests' worth of heads.  How do you maximize your headcount? By making sure to do the quests that result in the most heads.  A prime example would be Four Heads are Better than None, a quest in the Twilight Highlands, where you would obtain four heads for a single questlog slot.
     There are more than a few heads that won't require a quest slot, since they actually begin the quest.  Thus, they're freebies.  However, it's still some work to actually get them.  Here's the list I have.

• Head of Onyxia (Onyxia's Lair)
• Head of Nefarian (Blackwing Lair)
• Head of Ossirian the Unscarred (Ruins of Ahn'Qiraj - 20)
• Magtheridon's Head (Magtheridon's Lair - Outland)
• Myzerian's Head (Myzerian in Northwest corner of Uldum)
• Gnash's Head (Gnash in Kelp'thar Forest, Vash'jir)

 

     Below is a list of the quests you'll need in your quest log, including whatever prerequisites there may be in order to get to the quest.  I will list faction-neutral quests first, then faction specific in a separate list

1. Hungry as an Ogre! in Dustwallow Marsh.  8 heads.
2. Those Aren't Masks in the Abyssal Depths of Vash'jir.  6 heads.
3. Four Heads Are Better Than None in the Twilight Highlands.  You'll have to quest through a good chunk of the Twilight Highlands to open this up from Lady Cozwynn (Horde) or Cassius the White (Alliance).  4 heads.
4. Guardian of the Monument in Blade's Edge Mountains.  This is an Ogri'la quest. 1 head.
5. WANTED: Cap'n Garvey in Ratchet, Northern Barrens. 1 head.
6. Wanted: The Epoch Hunter's Head in Lower City, Shattrath.  This quest takes place in Old Hillsbrad in the Caverns of Time.
7. Grmmurggll Mrllggrl Glrggl!!! (LOL!) in Borean Tundra.  This is around the time where you put on that hilarious murloc suit and save a million baby murlocs.
8. Wanton Warlord in Dragonblight. The questline to get this begins with the Emblazoned Battle Horn that drops from Icefist and Chilltusk. 1 head.
9. Gurok the Usurper in Nagrand at the Throne of the Elements. 1 head.
10. Big Game Hunter in Northern Stranglethorn. 1 head.
11. Seeing Where Your Loyalties Lie in Stranglethorn Vale.  Many players will not want to do this as it requires you to get Bloodsail Buccaneers to honored, which usually means slaughtering Booty Bay Bruisers and destroying your Booty Bay reputation. 1 head.
12. Jammal'an the Prophet in Sunken Temple. Simple dungeon quest. 1 head.
13. Hard to Kill inside Magister's Terrace.  Another dungeon quest.  1 head.
14. Blackfathom Villainy(Alliance)/The Enemy of My Enemy(Horde) in Blackfathom Deeps.  Dungeon Quest.  1 head.
15. Malas the Corrupter in Zul'Drak. 1 head.
16. Ingvar Must Die!(Horde)/Stealing Their Thunder(Alliance) in Utgarde Keep.  Yet another dungeon quest.  1 head.
17. The Bait for Lar'korwi in Un'Goro Crater.  1 head.
18. The Gearmaster(Alliance)/Defeat the Gearmaster(Horde) in Borean Tundra. 1 head.

Horde Quests

 

• The Morons' League (15 heads)
• Headhunting (25 heads)
• Fish Heads, Fish Heads... (8 heads)
• To Steal From Thieves (3 heads)

Alliance Quests

Ummm... Well, in my research, I've discovered that the Alliance will almost always take you at your word that you killed someone, and in the rare occasion they do require proof, it's usually only one head.  So for all you Alliance players out there, if you pick up a head quest, just save the head.

 

     So, assuming you've picked up the quests listed, you've got 33 heads in your bag (plus an additional 51 if you're Horde!).  But is that really enough?

 

     Once you've filled your quest log and bags with heads, what do you do with the remaining bag space? After all, if you're going for pure intimidation, you may as well go for the gold.  So be sure to stock up on Nesingwary Lackey Ears in Borean Tundra, because if a sack full of heads doesn't do the trick, throwing some ears on the pile certainly will.

     Get creative.  Try to rebuild an organism using the various components in Azeroth.  Get blood, brains, hearts, toes, spleens, livers, whatever you come across in your random slaughterfest.  Fill the bags.

     Then, open a GM Ticket.  This will be the most important part.  You have to demand something, and tell the GM to look at your inventory if they think you're kidding.  After all, if they check your bags (and your bank if you're that level of depraved), they're going to see some really disturbing stuff.  You want to make sure they give you something for being that crazy.  Demand an epic. demand a legendary.  Demand that they spawn Ragnaros right in the middle of Stormwind. Demand whatever you want.  But make it good.

     And sweet Jesus, if they actually give you what you want, submit a screenshot.  Have fun being wierd!